just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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