i don't like sucking hair
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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