Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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