Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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