We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
