i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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