I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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