Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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