May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
