He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
