On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
