theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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