Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
