yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
