I don't think brook has ever known best
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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