i barfeds in our rink
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
