This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
