I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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