i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
