Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
