what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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