At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
