The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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