How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
