Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My ass is underappreciated
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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