He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
