Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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