So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
