Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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