I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize