just tell him i said nine months
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have fence marks all over my body
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
