Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
