he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
