my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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