I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
