Welp...herpes.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
