So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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