First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
