I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
