well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm passing your future prison.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
