Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
