I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
