Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
