Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
