You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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