my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
