Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize