his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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