i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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