I seem to have left my pride at pride
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
