How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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