its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
