I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
