Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
