just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
