So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
