I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
