I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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