I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
