I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
